While I am probably the least qualified person to explore the subject matter of father-daughter closeness, I can't help but have an opinion on this topic.
I just came home from Church. I was there fanning myself vigorously, together with other parishioners, cursing the humidity as we sat through an hour of service. In front me sat a family of four, father, mother, and two young daughters (9- 11 years old). I noticed that the father, who sat in between the two girls, had his arms around his two daughters, while the girls sat way too close to their father. The mother, for the most part of the Mass, sat about six inches away from one of the girls.
Now I'm not saying, nor am I implying anything about the appropriateness or lack thereof of the father's relationship with his daughters. I don't know these people and I probably never will. My only question is: how close should a father be to his daughter?
While closeness denotes physical proximity, it can also mean intimacy, the willingness to bare one's soul to someone else. I have friends who remained very close to their fathers until their death, but never behaved in a manner which made the people around them cringe.
I get that a father feels the need to be close to his daughter, but does it really have to involve constant physical contact? Does it have to mean hugging each other as you sit through the priest's fifteen minute homily, and even well after that?
Proper decorum should take precedence over one's desires - whether it be the desire to pick one's nose, scratch one's ass, or hug excessively. No one is exempted.
We live in what I'd like to think of as a civilized society, and our only responsibility is to live educatedly. Chit Roces Santos in her essay titled The Educated Heart, which can be found in her book Personal Space and Other Essays, quotes her grandfather Rafael, "Educacion es consideracion." Education is considerateness. Being educated does not necessarily mean having a college degree, an MA or a Phd. A person's educatedness is measured by how he treats other people; it is measured by how he lives his life, knowing that the way he lives, the way he behaves in public, affects the people around him.
Some fathers with daughters might not like what I wrote. But as a member of society, as an observer of people's behavior, I am entitled to my own opinion.
